UN Security Council Taunts Iran
Posted by Moonage on 16 Jan 2006 | Tagged as: Iran
From Foxnews:
Powerful members of the U.N. Security Council agreed Monday that Iran must fully suspend its nuclear program, Britain’s Foreign Office said following a meeting aimed at forging a common response to Tehran’s decision to resume uranium enrichment activities.
Diplomats also announced plans to call for an emergency meeting of the International Atomic Energy Agency board of directors on Feb. 2-3 to discuss what action to take against Tehran for removing some U.N. seals from its main uranium enrichment facility in Natanz last week.
The Foreign Office said all five veto-wielding permanent members of the Security Council the U.S., Britain, France, Russia and China and Germany had shown "serious concern over Iranian moves to restart uranium enrichment activities."
They agreed on the need for Iran to "return to full suspension," according to a statement.
I kid you not. That’s what they did.
Did you happen to ever watch Monty Python and the Search for the Holy Grail? Excellent movie. A lot funnier than the UN Security Council. However, the UN Security Council, as much as they are trying to mimic the UN SECURITY COUNCIL, just don’t have the proper verbiage to pull it off. Something like this would probably have been just as effective:
UN SECURITY COUNCIL: None shall pass.
IRAN: What?
UN SECURITY COUNCIL: None shall pass.
IRAN: I have no quarrel with you, good Sir knight, but I must possess nuclear weapons.
UN SECURITY COUNCIL: Then you shall die.
IRAN: I command you as King of the Islamic states to stand aside!
UN SECURITY COUNCIL: I move for no man.
IRAN: So be it!
[hah]
[parry thrust]
[IRAN chops the UN SECURITY COUNCIL's left arm off]
IRAN: Now stand aside, worthy adversary.
UN SECURITY COUNCIL: ‘Tis but a scratch.
IRAN: A scratch? Your arm’s off!
UN SECURITY COUNCIL: No, it isn’t.
IRAN: Well, what’s that then?
UN SECURITY COUNCIL: I’ve had worse.
IRAN: You liar!
UN SECURITY COUNCIL: Come on you pansy!
[hah]
[parry thrust]
[IRAN chops the UN SECURITY COUNCIL's right arm off]
IRAN: Victory is mine!
[kneeling]
We thank thee Lord, that in thy merc-
[UN SECURITY COUNCIL kicks IRAN in the head while he is praying]
UN SECURITY COUNCIL: Come on then.
IRAN: What?
UN SECURITY COUNCIL: Have at you!
IRAN: You are indeed brave, Sir knight, but the fight is mine.
UN SECURITY COUNCIL: Oh, had enough, eh?
IRAN: Look, you stupid bastard, you’ve got no arms left.
UN SECURITY COUNCIL: Yes I have.
IRAN: Look!
UN SECURITY COUNCIL: Just a flesh wound.
[Headbutts IRAN in the chest]
IRAN: Look, stop that.
UN SECURITY COUNCIL: Chicken! Chicken!
IRAN: Look, I’ll have your leg. Right!
[whop]
[IRAN chops the UN SECURITY COUNCIL's leg off]
UN SECURITY COUNCIL: Right, I’ll do you for that!
IRAN: You’ll what?
UN SECURITY COUNCIL: Come ‘ere!
IRAN: What are you going to do, bleed on me?
UN SECURITY COUNCIL: I’m invincible!
IRAN: You’re a loony.
UN SECURITY COUNCIL: The UN SECURITY COUNCIL always triumphs! Have at you! Come on then.
[whop]
[IRAN chops the UN SECURITY COUNCIL's other leg off]
UN SECURITY COUNCIL: All right; we’ll call it a draw.
IRAN: Come, Patsy.
UN SECURITY COUNCIL: Oh, oh, I see, running away then. You yellow bastards! Come back here and take what’s coming to you. I’ll bite your legs off!
This would be funny if the consequences weren’t so serious. If the UN keeps jerking around, Israel will have no choice but to take care of this themselves. And, that could get quite messy.
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