Never trust a politician offering favors
My buddies at Independent Sources took offense, sorta, upon stumbling upon this article:
Joe Redner, who€™s in a runoff for a city council seat, is offering free admission to his World Famous Mons Venus strip club when patrons show their €śI voted€ť sticker at the door. The cover charge is usually $20.
There is a nice irony at play. A politician allowing their constituents a chance to cop a few feels before screwing them later.
Now, before we get too carried away with this, I need to give just a little background about where I come from, which is sorta like Tampa used to be. Now, in the old days here, and I imagine in Florida as well ( more than a week ago ), one of the preferred vote buying methods was to get someone "on the fence" a little tipsy, put them in the car, and go vote. Candidates with more money would get large vans and trucks. But, the bottom line was you HAD to have a pint of whiskey. It didn’t matter if they even drank whiskey or not. They would on election day. That was an expected tradition here up until very recently. Tampa’s a little more urban than here these days, I imagine that tradition ended longer ago than here. ( two weeks or more ) It’s illegal yaknow. Vote buying. For that matter, even drinking whiskey is illegal here in most parts. However, people tend to look the other way on the law during political seasons. So, along comes this guy in Tampa who doesn’t want to spend the money it takes to get elected and offers free passes to his strip club instead. Now, for reasons I prefer not to get into, I used to drop in Mons Venus occasionally. Now, this place is hell incarnate. Sure, the babes were naked. Sure, they looked great. But, get this, you couldn’t drink anything. Not one drop. So, what you did was run accross the street to the very conveniently located liquor store, slam a couple of shots of whatever you preferred, and then run back to the beautiful naked babes awaiting you. This just pretty much wore me out. Secondly, get this, it’s SMOKE FREE. It’s a place where men ( and a lot more women than you’d expect ), go to lust and sin in excess, but only within rigid guidelines. You can sorta have sex, but you can NOT drink alcohol or smoke tobacco. No sirree.
Now, this is where I tie all this together. In order to properly "buy" an election, you MUST provide whiskey. Not Sprite, not Dr. Pepper, not Fresca. It MUST be liquor, it MUST be strong, it SHOULD be whiskey. Secondly, once the dirty deed is done, you MUST share a smoke. A good screwin is always best when you’re just a little liquored up and followed by a toke. So, although Joe Redner’s schtick is creative, my guess is it will be meaningless because it won’t even provide the basic necessities of proper vote buying. And, if all you’re allowed to do is watch, you may as well just tell Joe to give you a free month’s online subscription so you can watch them at home, with a drink in hand, and a smoke.
THEN, we’ve got proper vote buying in action. I’d even be game. ( How many absentees can Joe send out before the election? )
