Politically correct stereotyping
Posted by Moonage on 16 Jan 2008 | Tagged as: Humor
Got this via email:
Regarding women:
- She is not a “BABE” or a “CHICK” - She is a “BREASTED AMERICAN.”
- She is not a “SCREAMER” or a “MOANER” - She is “VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.”
- She is not “EASY” - She is “HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.”
- She is not a “DUMB BLONDE” - She is a “LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.”
- She has not “BEEN AROUND” - She is a “PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION .”
- She is not an “AIRHEAD” - She is “REALITY IMPAIRED.”
- She does not get “DRUNK” or “TIPSY” - She gets “CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED”
- She does not have “BREAST IMPLANTS” - She is “MEDICALLY ENHANCED.”
- She does not “NAG” you - She becomes “VERBALLY REPETITIVE.”
- She is not a “TRAMP” - She is “SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.”
- She does not have “MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS” - She is “PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.”
- She is not a “TWO-BIT HOOKER” - She is a “LOW COST PROVIDER.”
Regarding men:
- He does not have a “BEER GUT” - He has developed a “LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.”
- He is not a “BAD DANCER” - He is “OVERLY CAUCASIAN.”
- He does not “GET LOST ALL THE TIME” - He seeks or “INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.”
- He is not “BALDING” - He is experiencing “FOLLICLE REGRESSION.”
- He is not a “CRADLE ROBBER” - He prefers “GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.”
- He does not get “FALLING-DOWN DRUNK” - He becomes “ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.”
- He does not act like a “TOTAL @SS” - He has developed a case of “RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.”
- He is not a “MALE CHAUVINIST PIG” - He has “SWINE EMPATHY.”
- He is not afraid of “COMMITMENT” - He is “RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED.”
- He is not “HORNY” - He is “SEXUALLY FOCUSED.”
- It’s not his “CRACK” you see hanging out of his pants - It’s “REAR CLEAVAGE “
And finally, regarding my heritage, we are not “HILLBILLIES”, we are Appalachian-Americans.
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