Jon Stewart gets pwned
Jon Stewart on his Daily Show:
ACORN appears to be a corrupt organization that aids and abets criminals and gets millions of dollars in taxpayer money. [...]
Well, this is an impressive expose. I’d love to know the intrepid journalists who broke this story. “60 Minutes”? The AP? That guy who gets the predators?
(Shows video of O’Keefe appearing on Fox News).
Are you f**king kidding me? First of all, you don’t have to tell us you’re a white guy. Your pimp costume appears to be a fur coat on top of your Andover uniform. Second of all, where were the real reporters on this story? You know what investigative media, see me on camera three: Where the hell were you? You know who broke this story? These two.
(Shows picture of O’Keefe and Giles.)
Your telling me that two kids from the cast of “High School Musical III” can break this story with a video camera and their grandmother’s chinchilla coat? And you got nothing? They did it for $3,000, and that’s Blitzer’s monthly beard Wetvac budget. It probably cost CNN that much to turn on their hologram machine.
I’m a fake journalist, and I’m embarrassed these guys scooped me. Let’s get to work people.
However, what Stewart apparently missed was the initial call for the fake journalists to take the lead in the first place:
“I don’t even know about it,” Gibson said, laughing. “So you’ve got me at a loss. … But my goodness, if it’s got everything, including sleaziness in it, we should talk about it in the morning.”…
But Gibson told a radio show Tuesday morning that he wasn’t familiar with the story — and it might be “just one you leave to the cables.”
Later Jon Banner explained that:
So, in other words Jon, the real journalists aren’t going to touch this no matter how salacious and headline grabbing it may become. It’s up to the fake journalists such as yourself to inform the world of the excesses and abuses…….
Nah, all that’s just noise. Now it’s becoming clear that Obama financed his way to the Oval Office on the backs of tax-evading vote-buying young white pimps and their even younger pasty white pimpettes trying to get federal loans to import underage sex slaves to help them shake down banks into making home loans to people who get their financial consulting from tax-evading vote-buying people of color and voting as many times as they can for the man who would be president so they wouldn’t have to worry about those risky loans they never could afford in the first place. Hell, we’ve even got a murder confession in today’s episode. No one seems to believe her tho. The actual murder was probably pre-empted by Obama’s non-constitutional joint house session that led directly to a lecture on respect and decorum from a Congressman who won’t follow IRS decorum and pay taxes, and the subsequent vote to not censure the Congressman who didn’t follow the decorum no one knew about at the meeting that wasn’t a joint. It would have been worse, but he whispered something so softly Hank Johnson couldn’t understand what he was saying. Robert Byrd heard “KKK”, but couldn’t remember who said it. The secret will be revealed in the next episode ( spoiler alert ), that what Joe Wilson actually said was “You lie! (whispered), Taylor Swift’s video is the best”. At that point, Kanye West is rumored to have an uncredited cameo, asaulting the teen girl once again while claiming Beyonce is the best public option of all time.
Who better to keep us up to date on all this than a fake journalist on a comedy channel?
