Stimulating malt liquor and marijuana consumption jobs in Buffalo
Tom Coburn and John McCain are having a blast with the stimulus monies. They’ve noticed a few, shall we say, wasteful projects they think don’t do the US much good. The one that caught my eye was tostudy young adults who drink malt liquor, smoke marijuana, AND live in Buffalo, New York. I got two issues with this. Probably more, but two obvious ones.
- The grant is for $390,000. Supposedly it will pay 100 people $45 a day. Does Recovery.com count that as 100 jobs?
- By my math, that means each person will get paid $100 to get stoned and/or drunk on malt liquor 87 times. Now, I went to college. I tried real hard to get drunk 87 straight times. It’s hard. It’s real hard. After a point it just gets tedious. So, I’m going to assume some won’t get stoned and drunk 87 straight days. But, instead, maybe do it once on weekends. That means the study in theory could last about one and a half years. How long does stimulus money plan on being spent? I mean, what if the economy takes off and we don’t need any more stimulus, will we still be paying people to get stoned in Buffalo?
- New York’s marijuana law reads as: Under 25g: $100; Over 25 g. or public use: Class B misdemeanor; Over 2 oz.: Class A misdemeanor; Over 8 oz.: Class E felony; Over 16 oz.: Class D felony; Over 10 lbs.: Class C felony; Subsequent offense: Under 25 g.: $200; Third offense: $250 and 15 days. Given that, if they’re fined $100 a day, it would seem at best a break-even proposition. If they’re fined $250 a shot it would seem to me that they would come to the quick conclusion that it’s cheaper not to tell the feds you’re getting stoned on the public dime. However, these are stoners we’re talking about. But, still, after their first stint in jail I’m sure they’ll figure it out anyway.
- Would there be some type of assistance for those who instantly become labaled as persistant felony offenders?
- Would there be substance abuse programs for when their supply is cut off?
The biggest question I’ve got is whether this money is “creating new jobs” or “saving existing jobs”. If it’s the former, I’m just pissed. If it’s the latter, I’m real pissed. Now, in the big scheme of things, I can’t see how this would create more than one job. Someone will go to the store and buy a few cases of malt liquor and call their college buds to get enough pot to last a few weeks. That doesn’t take much work. That same person could easily call around each week asking how stoned they are and whether it’s better with or without malt liquor. Then at the end someone will have to write a report telling us how good the subjects felt stoned with or without malt liquor. The conclusion will be that drinking malt liquor adds nothing to the experience of being stoned. I just don’t see that taking more than a few hours at most. Now factor in the work-days lost due to being stoned, failing drug tests, and hung over since malt liquors give lots of people bad headaches.
This is one of those projects where someone should have scratched their head and commented how useless and meaningless this project is. But with the current morality of DC, it apparently fits right in.
The bottom line for me, what in the hell does figuring out the effects of malt liquor and marijuana use in Buffalo, New York have to do with me? I’m paying taxes, that’s my money. If malt liquor and pot were wiped off the face of the Earth I could care less. The effects of either certainly mean nothing to me as well. I do know that according to every scientist and medical practitioner on the planet that smoking is bad for your health. So, we can assume real quick that the effect of smoking pot is similar to that of smoking tobacco. They both have second-hand smoke. That’s all we need to know. Tossing in some goofball liquor doesn’t make lung cancer any better or worse.
